


Set off on a new path

by Mashiro



Category: Inazuma Eleven
Genre: Depictions of C-PTSD and DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Others characters will be added later, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, general anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2019-10-22 12:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17662310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mashiro/pseuds/Mashiro
Summary: Kidou and Atsuya become best friends. Aliea Gakuen's threat is around the corner. The team is about to experience many hardships.Retelling of Aliea's arc. Fubuki-centric. (I'll hopefully write a more proper description later, I'm bad at summaries).





	1. It’s a bros story

**Author's Note:**

> A lot is going on in this story. It started with a joke prompt but it quickly turned more serious than expected.  
> The first part of the story is divided into four chapters.

"Fubuki," Kidou called placing his hand on the other's shoulder, "tell our brother that I'd like to talk to him later."

"What—?" Shirou blinked in confusion, " **_our_ ** brother?"

"Yes, please, tell Atsuya."

"Did you just called Atsuya **_your_ ** brother?" Shirou's confusion increased, when did Kidou even **_learn_ ** about Atsuya?

"Didn't he tell you?" Kidou tilted his head to the side, "it's a bit of a long story. I thought you were aware during those times," he brought a hand to his chin in deep thought. "Come to think of it, he also said that even if you are, that you might not remember..."

Shirou looked around them, there wasn't anyone close enough that they could accidentally overhear their conversation. It seemed that Kidou was aware of that and that's why he was approached. Though, he still had questions.

"Kidou-kun?" Shirou began.

Kidou interrupted, "don't worry. I haven't told anyone else."

Shirou nodded then remained silent. Not only he did not know that Kidou had found them out but also he wasn't aware Atsuya talked to him about it. He could recall a vague conversation the two had with each other but those happened all the time whenever Atsuya was around, and the contents of said conversation were also a blurry memory. Shirou assumed that he was having amnesia once more from switching places with Atsuya. Not much of a big deal if at least Atsuya would have told him about this. Shirou sighed. He'd have to talk to Atsuya later about sharing important information.

Kidou stared back at Shirou, he wasn't certain whenever the other was having a conversation with Atsuya or if he was just uncomfortable with the situation; whenever was the case, he assumed that the best would be not to get too much into detail for now and discuss it with Atsuya later.

"Anyway, tell Atsuya that I'd like to talk to him. I apologize for making this an uncomfortable situation," Kidou said, "see you... later."

Shirou's questions weren't answered.

 

* * *

 

Shirou walked even further away from the rest of the team; he wanted to find a place where he could have a proper conversation with Atsuya without being interrupted and this small hill near a river seemed to be a good place for it.

He looked around to make sure they were alone once more and once confirmed, he took a deep breath, grabbed his scarf and closed his eyes, then started looking for Atsuya inside their mind.

"Atsuya?" He called, "Atsuya, I need to talk to you."

" _What is it now?_ " Atsuya said in response.

"Kidou came to talk to me earlier," Shirou sighed. "He asked for you. Atsuya, why does he know? What did you tell him?"

" _Weren't you eavesdropping the conversation?_ "

"Apparently not. I don't remember it."

" _You always miss the important parts, don't you?_ "

"Atsuya explain. Why did he call you **_his_ ** brother?"

" _Is that it? We're bros now. Nothing else._ "

"What does that mean? You should've have at least told me that we were outed. It was—"

The sound of steps and rustling bushes became stronger, Shirou opened his eyes and quickly turned around to look at the person who was standing here... Endou Mamoru.

"Ah! Fubuki! There you are! Everyone's been looking for you. It's almost dinner time, we should hurry back," Endou said staring at the other with a smile, but then his expression quickly turned into a more serious one, "Are you alright? You seem a bit pale."

Shirou softly sighed to himself and smiled back, "oh, I'm fine. Don't worry. It seems I just lost track of time," he laughed.

"Is that so? Then let's head back!"

"Yeah, let's do that."

Shirou guessed he'd have to have a longer conversation at a different time.

 

* * *

 

Night fell and the air was chilly outside the caravan, everyone was asleep except for Kidou, and Atsuya who asked him about having a chat. The two climbed to the roof of the caravan.

Atsuya sat down, crossing his legs and turned at Kidou who sat next to him, “so what's it? I heard you wanted to talk earlier.”

“Well, to be honest I was thinking about our next strategy and wanted to hear your input but— I believe there's a different issue that needs to be addressed right now.”

Atsuya tilted his head, “what's the issue?”

Kidou stared back at him. Did he really not know or was he feigning ignorance? It was hard to tell.

“I talked to Shirou earlier, he didn't seem to know about our conversations.”

“Is that the issue?” Atsuya signed to himself. Going to have to go through this again was really— “I thought I told you we have different memories. He doesn't remember everything that happens when I'm out and I don't remember everything either of when he's around. He knows **_now_ ** though.”

“Does he know that we're bros?”

“Yeah, I told him that.”

“Good,” Kidou affirmed to himself. “I wouldn't want him to be upset about it.”

“Don't worry. He'll survive!” Atsuya joked. “Besides we're best friends now, right? Self-adopted siblings. He'll just have to deal with that.”

“I suppose so,” Kidou nodded. “Then, about our next strategy—”

They both didn't know what they'd be getting themselves into.


	2. Misconceptions

“Keep going everyone!” Endou cheered from his position at the goal.

It was a practice day. The team was divided into two groups and they were playing a practice match. No news have been heard about Aliea but that didn't stop everyone from training, in fact they needed it; they didn't know when the next attack could be or where.

Touko had the ball, she looked around looking for the side of her group.

“Rika!” She called, ready to kick the ball and pass it to her teammate when Kidou suddenly appeared.

“Spinning Cut,” Kidou smiled, stealing the soccer ball from her and ran towards the goal. "Fubuki!" he yelled passing the ball.

Atsuya was there. He appeared before anyone else could notice him, blocking Tsunami's defense and getting the ball.

"Eternal Blizzard," Atsuya kicked the ball towards Tachimukai.

"God Han—" Tachimukai stopped his technique halfway, " _No, I won't make it in time_!" he thought to himself, jumping towards his right side in an attempt to stop the ball.

 _GOAL_.

Atsuya ran in celebration, Kidou ran behind him clapping his hands, the rest of their side of the team followed.

“Well-done, bro!” Kidou cheered.

“Yeah, bro! It worked just as planned!” Atsuya replied back, bumping fists with the other.

“Hmm, fishy…” Rika said squinting at them, she turned at Kidou then Atsuya to look at their faces closely.

“C'mon, Rika…” Touko tried to stop her.

“This isn't the first time I hear you two calling each other 'bro’, what's going on here?” Rika's curiosity showed.

Kidou looked at Atsuya whom didn't say anything back. There weren't any protests.

“Brothers. We're brothers now,” Kidou admitted.

“Best friends and adopted siblings,” Atsuya added.

“Is that so?” Rika still suspected them. She turned around to Haruna's direction, “hey, Haruna! Kidou just called Fubuki his brother!” she laughed, if they were mocking her, then she'd mock them back.

“Eh?” Haruna exclaimed in confusion. She was standing at the other side of the field along with Aki and Natsumi when she heard Rika's words.

“Was Fubuki adopted into the Kidou family?” Natsumi asked.

“No way, no way. They must be kidding,” Haruna said.

She had no idea what was going on.

 

* * *

 

“Um, big bro,” Haruna called; she felt anxious. “What was that talk earlier about Fubuki-kun?”

“Good timing, Haruna. I was thinking about how to bring it up,” Kidou replied. “Fubuki is _**our**_ sibling now.”

“What?” Haruna blinked in confusion. Maybe he was really adopted…? But if so then when?

“Please treat him as you'd having another brother. We have an unbreakable bond now,” Kidou's voice was serious.

“Was… was he adopted?”

“Yes, we've adopted each other as siblings. I'm glad you understand,” Kidou nodded to himself.

No. She did not understand. But it wasn't the first time Kidou said something that caught her off guard.

Haruna wasn't sure how to accept this information but if it was true, then she guessed she'd have to talk to Fubuki about it… to her new sibling…?

 

* * *

 

Shirou walked away again, hoping to have a better conversation with Atsuya this time. Haruna saw him walking into the woods and decided to follow him; it'd be better if they could have a private conversation, she thought.

Shirou arrived to the same hill; they've been staying at the same place for days and this location became his secret place.

“We should stop it. It's going to cause trouble,” Shirou began.

Haruna stopped to observe, hiding behind a tree.

“He is my bro and I'm going to call him that,” Atsuya continued.

“I can't understand, you aren't even explaining it to me,” Shirou sighed.

“Just accept it, this is how it is now,” Atsuya replied back.

“That isn't helping. Can you at least tell me what happened?” Shirou insisted

“Is… Fubuki-kun talking to himself…?” Haruna whispered to herself, trying to hide even more but stepped on a fallen stick which cracked making a loud noise.

Shirou turned around in panic to find Haruna. Did she heard them…?

“Ah, manager… did something happen?” Shirou asked with a smile.

“Nuh-uh,” Haruna shook her head negating the question. “I was taking a walk and thought I saw someone over here… Are you alone?”

“...Yeah. I came here to relax for a bit, the view is beautiful.”

Haruna looked around, she hadn't noticed until now that the view from there had its own charm.

“Should we head back?” Shirou suggested.

“Ah! Wait, the truth is… I'd like to talk to you if you've the time.”

“Oh, sure. What's it?” Shirou hoped it wasn't about his conversation with Atsuya.

“I heard from my older brother… from Kidou that you're now our sibling…? Were you really adopted into the Kidou family?” A feeling of anxiety took over Haruna, she needed to hear it from Fubuki himself.

“Eh?” Shirou exclaimed in confusion. “No, I haven't,” please no.

Haruna sighed in relief, bringing a hand to her chest. Then tuned back to Shirou, “then what's that whole talk about being siblings?” she asked.

“Uh, about that… it's a bit complicated, I'm sorry,” Shirou forced a smile. “I'm not sure about the details myself,” he confessed.

“You don't know?” Haruna tilted her head.

“I'm sorry. I'll let you on the details once I find out,” that's the least he could do. If Atsuya was dragging everyone along into this mess, he thought that he could at least notify Haruna about it.

 

* * *

 

Shirou guessed that at this point he’d actually have to have a talk with Kidou himself. The whole team started to tell rumors about them being actual siblings and assuming that he was adopted despite him confirming to Haruna that this was not true. To make the situation worse, Kidou kept calling him his brother on random occasions in front of everyone. Yet Shirou had no idea what Atsuya had done this time since he wouldn’t tell him a word about it for an unknown reason.

Shirou approached Kidou, he held his scarf tight and hesitated. How was he going to bring up this topic? He hasn't even talked about Atsuya's existence properly to the other, yet Kidou seemed to know more than him. And if he was aware of Atsuya and who he is then maybe he wouldn't have to explain everything by himself—that is, assuming Atsuya had done the explanation part already.

“Kidou-kun…” he began. “I'd like to talk to you.”

Kidou turned around facing Shirou; he could tell by the lack of ‘bro’ who was talking. “What is it, Fubuki?”

“Hmm,” Shirou looked around; no one was nearby. “It's about… Atsuya…” he whispered.

“Did something happen to him?”

“Quite the contrary…” Shirou took a moment to breathe; talking about this topic was extremely difficult for him. Admitting that he had another personality and that it was his deceased brother would sound crazy to anyone; yet Kidou was aware of this and it seemed safe enough if Atsuya himself was the one coming out about it. It was still difficult though.

Shirou turned away his face, he couldn't look at the other, “um, can you tell me what's this about being brothers?” His anxiety increased.

“Didn't he tell you about it? He said he did,” Kidou asked.

Shirou shook his head, “he didn't say anything.”

Kidou crossed his arms in a pensive pose, “it's a bit long to explain,” and the promised Atsuya that he wouldn't tell everything about their conversations to Shirou. “To make it short, we're best friends, and self-adopted siblings.”

Shirou listened carefully, he still had questions on the topic but at least this conversation seemed to flow easier than his previous attempts. “How did it—”

“Hey, you two!” Tsunami called, “coach Hitomiko is calling everyone! It might be about Aliea!”

“We should hurry,” Kidou stated, then turned back to Shirou. “We'll have to continue this conversation at a later time.”


	3. Difficult road

Hitomiko stood in front of the team, she looked to her right then left, checking that everyone was present. The whole team was expectant of her.

“We've received new information on Aliea's movements. Pack up everything, we're leaving right away,” she stated then turned around and entered the caravan.

Everyone quickly picked up their belongings and brought them back into the vehicle and as soon as everything was ready, they departed to their next destination.

The trip has been going for a while and everyone was starting to feel the pressure of fighting to save the world from the aliens.

Tsunami elbowed Kabeyama who was sitting next to him, “cheer up, man! We're going to show Aliea our defense!”

Kabeyama played with his hands, he wasn't sure how to feel about it. “But I'm not as good as you, Tsunami-san…”

“C'mon! We've been practicing all this time! You should be a little more like Fubuki. Just look at him! He looks like a quiet guy but he gets all fired up during matches!” Tsunami said then stood up to look at the seat behind his where Shirou was. “I'm not going to let you stop my defense next time!”

Shirou smiled back at him, “let's do our best.”

Tsunami got back to his seat and pointed at the back with his thumb, “see, Kabeyama? He can be both modest and act like a completely different person on the field! Tough up! You can do it too!” Tsunami cheered with a smile while patting the other's shoulder.

Shirou leaned against the window and grabbed his scarf, staring outside. “ _Of course I act like a different person_ ,” he thought to himself, “ _it's Atsuya who's usually out during the matches, not me_.”

Shirou looked around; everyone's conversations were lively. He spotted Kidou on the other side.

_He knew. Kidou knew. He knew about their secret, about Atsuya. And even if he wouldn't tell anyone, for Shirou, it felt as if it was only a matter of time until everyone would find out as well._

_That thought alone made Shirou feel uneasy._

 

* * *

 

“We're going to arrive soon,” Furukabu announced.

Hitomiko only replied with a nod.

The tension in the caravan increased; soon they'd be facing Aliea Gakuen once more.

A beam of light appeared in the sky and an object that looked like a meteorite fell in the distance; the impact with the ground created the sound of a strong thunder and the waves that originated from it reached out to the caravan which trembled for a few seconds.

“They're here…” Touko said with a serious face.

“...Aliea Gakuen,” Endou continued to himself.

“Speed up,” Hitomiko ordered.

Furukabu accelerated the vehicle.

“Fubuki-kun, are you alright?” Haruna's voice broke the momentary tense silence.

“Man, what's wrong?” Tsunami asked as well.

Shirou was trembling uncontrollably. He had placed his hands covering his ears and bend over towards his legs. He wasn't listening to anyone around him.

_The loud sound, the vehicle shaking. It all brought back the memories of the accident in flesh. Why did that happen? Why was he the one alive? Why couldn't it be no more than a mere bad dream instead of reality? He wished it never happened. He blamed himself in that moment for being alive, for being unable to do anything to stop it, to save anyone, for having been a little kid who lacked of power to do anything… for not being perfect, perfect enough that now he wouldn't have to be feeling this way because then he'd have been able to avoid it all and everyone would be well and alive with him… but that wasn't reality. Why couldn't it be it? Why did it have to be this way? He hated it and he blamed himself even more for it. He was fine at that time! He should have been able to do something! It's only logical! He was the only one who could’ve saved them! Then why? Just why? Why couldn’t he? It was his fault, wasn't it? It had to be… If something happened now again, would he be able to do anything? In this state? No… he was probably still weak and useless, Atsuya would deal with it better. Atsuya could do it. Atsuya…_

“... Hey, Fubuki? Are you okay?” Endou asked, placing his hand on the other's shoulder.

Atsuya took over for a moment, staring back at Endou furiously. Why were they being touched?

Endou instinctively removed his hand.

_It’s Endou, it's fine. Nothing was happening. They were fine._

Shirou regained control once more, he had trouble breathing and calming himself down. He looked around, _they're fine_.

Shirou nodded, “... I'm fine. Sorry.”

“Are you sure? I'm here, the whole team is here for you if you need us,” Endou insisted.

Shirou forced a smile, “yeah, don't worry.”

“Alright if you say so…” Endou nodded to himself.

“Endou,” Kidou called. “Let's go back to our seats. Fubuki probably needs time alone.”

“Is that so?” Endou asked looking back at Fubuki.

Shirou nodded. Being left alone would be good right now. It'd help him to calm down.

“Alright everyone!” Endou began, “Let's give Fubuki some time and go back to our seats! We're facing Aliea again soon!”

 _Right, Aliea Gakuen, this should be the focus right now_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite it being described in third person, the breakdown paragraph is supposed to reflect Shirou's trail of thought. Flashbacks aren't kind.


	4. It should’ve been different

Fog covered the whole place. Furukabu drove the caravan slowly and stopped when they witnessed a field. A soccer field right there, in what seemed to be a desolate place—it was hard to tell with so little vision.

Endou stood up. Aliea Gakuen, he needed to stop them right now.

Kidou placed a hand on Endou's shoulder.

Endou took a deep breath, stopping himself. Right, they needed to think their moves.

Hitomiko stood up in front of everyone, she looked around, meeting the eyes of the members of the team. “We're going to inspect the area now. Get ready.”

Endou took another breath and turned at his team, “alright, everyone! Aliea Gakuen is here. We've come this far and gotten stronger every time. We can do it, we can beat Aliea Gakuen this time once and for all. Let's do it! Let's show them Earth's soccer!”

One by one every member of Raimon exited from the caravan.

Endou used his arm to avoid the fog from getting inside his eyes as he peeked around.

Little by little, unidentifiable figures appeared from inside the fog.

Then clear. More clear.

… _Epsilon_.

“You’ve come, Raimon!” Desarm spoke, breaking the silence. Behind him, the rest of the team stood expectantly; they’ve been waiting for this moment. “It’s time for a match.”

 

* * *

 

“Flame Dance,” Ichinose ran with the ball. He avoided one, then two of the Epsilon members.

“Meteor Shower,” Maquia stole the ball from him, quickly passing it to Metron.

“The Tower,” Touko intercepted.

“Warp Drive,” Metron teleported pass her.

“Kabeyama! Let's go!” Tsunami called. “Let's show them what we can do!”

“Whale Guard,” a combined technique. They retrieved the ball.

Tsunami looked around. “Touko!” he passed the ball to her. Then turned back at Kabeyama with a smile and waved his hand, “well done, man!”

Touko received the ball; Epsilon was getting closer. “Kidou!”

Kidou ran.

Kayson intercepted.

“Illusion Ball,” Kidou went past him. He looked around, the situation was perfect. “Now!” He yelled, “Fubuki!”

Atsuya appeared unexpectedly.

Epsilon moved to stop him.

“Let him shoot!” Desarm ordered. “ **_You_ **,” he pointed at Atsuya. “Entertain me more!”

“Eternal Blizzard,” Atsuya kicked the ball towards Desarm.

“Wormhole,” Desarm stood there with his arms crossed and a grin on his face. The ball fell besides him, making a hole on the ground.

_… It was stopped._

_Stopped. After all their planning and training._

_Useless. Imperfect._

“Bullshit,” Atsuya said to himself. This plan? It was supposed to work! To beat Desarm and score a goal. But it didn't. It just didn't! It was far from perfect!

“Bro!” Kidou approached, “let's try it again.”

Atsuya’s anger increased. He ignored Kidou and ran back to his position.

 

* * *

 

The match continued.

Atsuya stopped caring about strategies. He ran behind the ball, stealing it from both teammates and enemies alike, and charging towards the goal with it. He played roughly. Recklessly.  _He played his way_.

“... Did the strategy change?” Touko asked to herself.

“Fubuki! Don't be reckless!” Kidou yelled. “We've a plan! Don't forget it”

“To hell with the plan! I'll do this my way!” Atsuya replied back.

“ _This is bad_ ,” Kidou thought to himself. “ _I knew this could happen but I was hoping that talking it through with him would avoid it_ …”

“Atsuya, stick to the plan,” Shirou commented.

“Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!” Atsuya was in front of the goal again.

“Come! Show me what you got!” Desarm spoke.

“Eternal Blizzard.”

“Wormhole.”

_… Stopped again._

_AGAIN._

Atsuya continued playing the same way and every time his shoot was stopped. His rage accumulated.

 _It was useless. Completely useless_!

“AAAAAGGH!! Goddammit!” Atsuya yelled in frustration, fists clenched.

“Is that all you got?” Desarm said starting back at Atsuya. “I'm disappointed.”

“It isn't all! I'm not done yet!” Atsuya yelled in response. “I'll score no matter what!”

“Fubuki,” Kidou approached him. “We need to think this through—”

“That doesn’t work!” Atsuya turned at him. “I have to do this! I have to score a goal! Don’t interfere with me!”

“Then come, if you still have energy for that,” Desarm teased.

“... That’s enough, Desarm,” a voice spoke interrupting them. Everyone turned around to see whom it belonged to.

From inside the fog a figure was revealed…  _Hiroto_.

“Hiroto...?” Endou stared at him. “Is that Hiroto?!” What was here doing here? Back? Was he going to fight them as well?

Hiroto looked back at Endou with a smile; no words exchanged. Then he turned back at Desarm with a more serious expression, “let’s go back.”

“Got it,” Desarm replied back.

Aliea regrouped in one place. Hiroto threw a black soccer ball to the ground near them and a dark fog started to cover them, making their figures less and less visible.

“We will meet again, Endou-kun,” Hiroto said.

“Hiroto…” Endou whispered to himself.

“Oi! We are not done here!” Atsuya yelled starting to run towards Aliea only to be stopped by Kidou who grabbed him by force.

“Bro, calm down! This is not the time—”

“Let me go! I’m not done with that guy!” Atsuya protested while trying to push Kidou away from him.

“Fubuki, stop it!” Kidou held him tighter.

“Let me go! Before they leave! There's no time!”

The fog started to dissipate.

“We'll face them again later!” Kidou added.

“It has to be now!” Atsuya insisted.

“Calm down!” Kidou yelled.

“Not yet!” Atsuya elbowed Kidou and got free.

“Atsuya—!” Kidou called.

The fog completely disappeared, Aliea Gakuen had left.

Atsuya turned around looking furiously at Kidou.

 _Oh shit. He fucked up. He really called Atsuya by name in front of everyone. After promising to him that he wouldn't… He didn't think this through. It was an accident! No one else knew about Atsuya and he was supposed to keep it a secret for Fubuki's comfort and safety, yet he slipped up… and to make it worse at a time when Atsuya was pissed off_ …!

“Listen, I—” Kidou began.

“Hm, who's Atsuya? Are you changing names now?” Rika asked trying to humor them.

Atsuya turned at her with the same serious expression.

“Eek!” Rika yelped, “what's wrong with him!”

“Fubuki, I—” Kidou tried again.

Atsuya looked back at him, he felt betrayed; both for stopping him but also for exposing him in front of everyone. “Consider our friendship over.”

“Wait!” Kidou called.

Atsuya turned around and walked towards the nearby woods, disappearing from vision.

“ _Atsuya_ …” Kidou thought to himself, worried about the other.

“What happened? Who's Atsuya?” Rika asked again.

The rest of the team started to ask the same questions to each other but no one had heard the name before—at least not in relation to Fubuki or Kidou.

Hitomiko clapped her hands to catch the team's attention, “very well, it seems to be the time to tell you all about Fubuki-kun.”

 _She knows_!

“Hold on, couch!” Kidou exclaimed. “We should find Fubuki first! We shouldn't go about this without him!”

Hitomiko looked at Kidou, “find him. We'll have this conversation here in about an hour.”

“You shouldn't do that!” Kidou protested again. She did know, didn't she? Why was their coach going to talk about it without asking Fubuki first! He had to stop her but also—Kidou looked in the direction that Atsuya went—find them!

Endou placed a hand on Kidou's shoulder. “Kidou, I don't know what's going on but this is important, right? Leave Fubuki to me and take care of the situation here.”

Kidou looked at Endou. He was right, it'd be better to have someone else going after Fubuki in this situation, especially since he was probably the last person they wanted to see right now.

Endou stared back with a serious expression.

Kidou nodded, “alright, Endou. I'll leave him to you. Bring Fubuki back.”

“You can count on me!” Endou patted the other's shoulder and left.

Kidou looked up at the sky. How could a slip up end this way? No wonder Atsuya was so upset and insistent. Now, no matter what he had to stop their coach from talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the "part one" of this story. Part two will take new turns, new events, and more focus on other characters.


	5. Confession

Endou walked into the woods in search of Fubuki; it’s been only a few minutes since the last left the team and ventured into this place, he had to be somewhere close by.

“Where could he have gone?” Endou asked to himself.

Shirou was looking down and lost in thought, standing with his back against a tree when Endou found him.

“Fubuki!” Endou called.

Shirou turned to look at the owner of the voice, then away once more.

“Fubuki, I was looking for you. Everyone's worried,” Endou stated.

Shirou couldn't look at him and instead he looked down even more, hiding behind his bangs. “I'm sorry, I can't go back right now. I will… later.”

“Hm,” Endou leaned against the tree as well and started thinking about the words he wanted to say. Whichever troubles Fubuki was going through, he wanted to support him no matter what.

Shirou sighed to himself; Atsuya was pissed and he had just switched back in hopes of keeping things calmer on the outside. He didn't know what could happen if they went back before Atsuya calmed down and he didn't want to find out either, nor he knew how to deal with the situation in general, he was just hoping that if he waited for long enough then it would be fine.

“Y'know,” Endou began. Perhaps what he had in mind wasn’t the best way to express what he wanted but he hoped the message would still get across. “When I found out that Hiroto was an alien, I was really shocked. The guy I thought was my friend was actually from Aliea, and he kept that as a secret from me. I didn't understand it at first but now I think that he must have had a reason to keep it a secret—there is still a lot about Aliea that we don’t know yet and I want to think that if we can show them the true meaning of soccer and stop them, then it doesn't matter if he's an alien, we could still be friends who love soccer. And I know the situation is different from yours,” Endou composed a weak smile and shrugged. It was a dumb comparison, he knew it but it was about friends and secrets and he didn’t know any other way to express it. “But no matter what it is, I'll accept it, the team with accept it, we will do it because that's what friends do.”

Shirou nodded to himself. He understood what Endou was trying to say—friends and secrets… a friendship doesn’t end because someone has a secret even one that turns out to make them different from the rest. And he wanted to think that maybe it would be fine if he let Endou know about the situation, that maybe if it was Endou then it would be just fine; like it was for Atsuya telling Kidou about it, he probably needed someone to rely on as well.

“Endou-kun…” Shirou managed to say, looking at the other with a serious face.

Endou blinked and stared back at him with the same seriousness. He nodded in approval to let him know that it is okay to talk.

Shirou took a deep breath and looked away, “it's going to be hard to believe but I… I have another personality… Atsuya—he's my younger brother. And—” Shirou stopped himself to breathe and shyly looked back at Endou who had closed his eyes to listen carefully. “And,” he continued, “I don't know how to deal with this! I don't know what Atsuya has done. I don't remember it! And he won't tell me! And during the match—Atsuya was out and he's pissed at Kidou-kun. He's angry that everyone heard his name being called like that. And I don't know what to do. I just—” Shirou let his body fall to the ground, sitting and holding his knees. “I just don't know!”

Endou opened his eyes and turned at Shirou, and after seeing the other sitting on the ground he decided to sit next to him. He looked at his hand and closed it into a fist then stared into the distance before them. There was so much happening, so much to process at once that his friend was going through. And he wanted to say the right words to Shirou but it was hard to find them.

“I’m sorry, Fubuki. I’m mad at myself because I didn’t realize in all this time that you were going through so much. If I had, then I’d have reached out to you sooner,” he stared back at his hand and wished he had the power to help everyone so that no one would have to feel the way Shirou was feeling right now.

_Of course Endou wouldn’t tell either…_

“... It’s weird, isn’t it?” Shirou said in a whisper.

“Fubuki…” Endou continued, “it doesn’t matter if it’s you or Atsuya, you’re both my friends. And I’m sure everyone in the team will think the same way. I’m sure Kidou understands that as well.”

“I’d like to think so…” Shirou interrupted, “but Kidou only ever talks to Atsuya. I’ve tried talking to him but we don’t seem to get along the same way...”

“Kidou did that?” he was surprised to hear it, it was unlike Kidou to do something like that. “I’ll talk to him,” Endou shook his head, “no. _We_ should talk to him and find out why.”

“...Yeah,” Shirou nodded. He didn't want to get others involved but now that Endou knew about it and was willing to help him, then he guessed he could accept the offer.

“Fubuki, let's go back,” Endou said with a smile on his face but his expression quickly shifted back again into a serious one. “Wait, there's something else I have to tell you first.”

“What is it?” Shirou perked up, staring back at him.

“Coach Hitomiko… She said she'd talk about you. Kidou stayed back to stop her but I think now… that it might be about Atsuya.”

“She's going to do what?!” Atsuya blurted out. The idea of everyone suddenly finding out made Shirou panic and lose control, bringing Atsuya forward. “Why didn't you say anything before?! We should stop her!”

“Fubuki…?” Endou blinked in confusion at the sudden change of mood in the other. “No… Atsuya? You're Atsuya, right?”

“Save that conversation for later!” Atsuya said as he began to head back at full speed. “We can't let others know yet!”

“Alright, I'll help you!” Endou nodded, following the other. He didn’t fully understand why others finding out was a problem, he was sure they’d be fine with it, but if Fubuki didn't want to tell them yet then he wanted to respect his friends’ wishes.


	6. Exposed

Raimon's team was gathered together around one side of the caravan. Hitomiko had told them to meet up there and everyone was both curious and confused about what she had to say about Fubuki. He was just their teammate, the current ace striker of the team; was she going to force him to leave the team as she did with Gouenji just for a little overreaction during the match? Or what could it be? The team had a hard time guessing.

“Coach, reconsider!” Kidou yelled exasperated. None of his arguments on _why_ talking without Fubuki's permission was a bad idea seemed to work on her.

Hitomiko walked to get in front of everyone. In her mind, this conversation would surface sooner or later and she had decided not to keep quiet about it despite Kidou's protests.

“Coach! We should at least wait for him!” Kidou tried again.

“I'll tell you all about Fubuki-kun now. Something that you don't know about him,” Hitomiko stated.

 

* * *

 

The caravan was soon visible in Atsuya and Endou's sight. They approached it, noticing everyone standing on the other side.

“I didn't mean to keep this from you all,” Hitomiko began, “Fubuki-kun has Dissociative Identity Disorder—in a few words, he has a second personality. Atsuya, the name you heard before, was Fubuki's younger brother who died in an avalanche. His mind created the personality of his brother—Atsuya, the forward, meanwhile Fubuki-kun is a defender.”

Atsuya stopped himself as soon as he heard Hitomiko beginning the explanation, and remained hidden in the non-visible side of the caravan.

Endou heard it all as well and stayed with Atsuya. He wasn't sure what he could do or say in this situation other than support him by being there. He was also shocked to hear about Fubuki's past… Atsuya was Shirou’s dead brother? Endou could only try to imagine how painful it must have been for Shirou to deal with that all, and even then he knew that trying to imagine the pain the other had been through was impossible for him—bigger than what he could imagine...

_It wasn't happening, was it? Atsuya questioned it. He had to be dreaming this up! Asleep! He grabbed his scarf and held it tight. After how much they tried to keep this a secret from everyone… now they know! They all know it! Hitomiko told them—no, it was Kidou's fault! If Kidou wouldn't have called him his name earlier then Hitomiko wouldn't have said anything! Kidou… he caused all of this!_

Atsuya’s anger resurfaced. He wanted to fight Kidou who betrayed his trust!

“So the reason Fubuki gets more impulsive during the matches is because he becomes Atsuya?” Tsunami asked. “He's the forward?”

“It's more than just that!” Kidou interjected. “Atsuya doesn't only show up during the matches! Nor he's just another side of Fubuki—he's his own person. It's hard to see it at first, but after a while it became evident to me... both of them have their own feelings and thoughts different from each other. And I'm sure everyone has talked to both of them even if you didn't know it, so don't treat Fubuki different just because of this—think of it this way: you're gaining another teammate and friend.”

Atsuya wasn't sure how to feel; he felt his anger fade away as he heard Kidou defend his name. He knew that the other didn't fully understand everything about his condition but it was clear that Kidou had listened to him when Atsuya tried to explain it himself, and that he cared enough to do something about this whole exposing situation so that it would hopefully be less hard to deal with for him and for Shirou… _Kidou was a real friend_ …

“Kidou's a good guy. He cares a lot for his friends,” Endou whispered to Atsuya while standing next to him. “I know you're angry at him but I think you should try talking to him about it.”

Endou was right, Atsuya knew that. He would have to talk to Kidou later about the whole thing.

“Captain,” Atsuya called under his breath, “when Shirou comes back, stay by his side.”

“Sure! Leave it to me!” Endou said bringing his fist to his chest and composing a bright smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back to edit this chapter. I've been thinking a lot about it and I want to add a clarification. To make it short, it's better not to call DID things like a "split personality" or refer to it as "multiple personalities" since that phrasing is often used in a way that's both negative and the general idea most people have when they think of those words don't really portray what DID actually is. Some people with DID might be fine with these terms being used to explain it or use them for themselves but others might not, please be mindful.  
> For the sake of this story and to make it easier for the readers who might not know about the disorder very well or know it by its actual name, I've been thinking about what's the best way to phrase it to explain it in a easy way since I don't want to go full on explaining the entire theory or making it too long to the point it would derail the story. I hope this version is better than the previous one...  
> 


	7. Making amends

Several minutes went by after the conversation concluded and the team dispersed; some had gone back to practice, others were helping around or having vivid conversations in between laughs. It was hard to believe that they have just had a serious talk moments ago.

Atsuya clenched his fists and walked to meet with Kidou—he could felt some of his teammates staring at him and going quieter but he dismissed that as he placed a hand on Kidou's shoulder forcing him to turn around.

“Let's have a talk,” Atsuya stated. He had guessed that it would be better if he tried to talk to Kidou before Shirou did.

“Alright,” Kidou said and excused himself from the others around them.

The two of them walked back into the woods—there wasn't anywhere else to go to have a private conversation without being potentially eavesdropping by their teammates. 

They walked in silence for a while, getting far enough from the caravan.

“Atsuya,” Kidou broke the silence, “there is something I have to tell you about... Coach Hitomiko—”

“Yeah, I know!” Atsuya interrupted. “I heard the whole thing.”

“... You did?” Kidou asked to himself. Then did that mean Atsuya also heard him?

They continued walking for a while until Atsuya stopped blocking the path; they should be far enough at this point.

“… You know I was angry at you,” Atsuya began as he looked away. “I thought you betrayed me by calling my name back during the match when I told you to keep this whole thing a secret and I blamed you for Coach Hitomiko's words but… when I heard you after that, I thought: if everyone had to find out this way then I'm glad you knew and were there supporting Shirou and I…”

Kidou took a moment to think. He had been debating this entire time what he should say to the other, and finding out that Atsuya had actually heard the conversation changed the situation…

“Atsuya… I'd like to apologize for that. It's true that I shouldn't have made things more difficult for you. And I tried to stop coach Hitomiko but she wouldn't listen to any reasoning.”

Atsuya sighed, scratching his head with one hand and posing the other on his hip. “It's fine! We'll manage! It isn't as if we can go back and tell everyone to forget it anyway.”

Kidou crossed his arms and brought a hand to his chin, “that's true. What do you plan to do now?”

“Hm?” Atsuya looked at Kidou. “We'll go as normal. No need to make it more awkward. Not for now.”

“I see,” Kidou nodded. “Then, should I continue calling you 'Fubuki’ in front of everyone or...?”

“I guess so?” Atsuya tilted his head. “I don't know. I haven't had the time to think about it,” he admitted. “You know, in Hakuren, everyone knows about us and they treat us accordingly—it's comfy there… They call us by our names or rather, they tend to call Shirou ‘captain’ and me ‘Atsuya’, same thing.”

“Hakuren does sound like a great team,” Kidou said. “I'd like to know them better someday.”

“It is! We all are the best team!” Atsuya said proudly. Despite all differences he could have with his teammates in Hakuren, he knew that Shirou and him were lucky to have such a good group of friends back in Hokkaido. “But you know,” he continued, “we can't expect everyone here in Raimon to be the same way. It takes time to learn to tell us apart.”

“I get that. It took me time as well. And even sometimes I still cannot tell,” Kidou admitted. He couldn't tell anything before finding out about Atsuya and then it took him a lot of observing to start associating voice, personality traits and mannerisms with each of them. He knew it wasn't easy.

“Anyway, let's head back,” Atsuya said pointing behind him and assuming the conversation was over. “Shirou and Endou want to talk to you later, get ready for that.”

“Noted. I'll talk to them.”

“So where's the way back?” Atsuya asked.

“... I thought you knew where we were going,” Kidou admitted.

“And I thought  _ you _ were keeping track of that.”

“This is bad.”

“You said so.”


	8. Night falls

The woods were extensive and easy to get lost in them; Kidou and Atsuya walked through them trying to find a way back to the caravan. They've traveled a lot previously that day and after the match with Aliea and all the following events, the sun had finally started to set down and the stars began to appear in the sky upon them.

Kidou stopped and looked around them then turned around to face Atsuya whom had stopped as well.

“It's getting dark already,” Kidou said. “I don't believe it's a good idea to keep going if we cannot see where we are headed. We should stop for now, find a place to stay the night and keep going first thing in the morning.”

“Huh? Are you serious? It's just a bit further ahead. I'm sure of that!” Atsuya opposed.

“ _Atsuya…_ ” Shirou called inside their head. “ _I think Kidou-kun is right on this. It wouldn't be a good if we get even more lost_.”

“We aren't going to get more lost,” Atsuya argued back inside.

“ _Maybe not,_ ” Shirou continued. “ _But I still think he's right. Let's wait until morning_.”

“Atsuya—” Kidou interrupted after noticing the other had gone quiet. “Are you alright?”

Atsuya blinked then looked back at Kidou. “Yeah, I’m fine. It's… Shirou.”

“What about him?” Kidou inquired. If Shirou had an input, he wanted to hear it as well.

Atsuya sighed, “he says he agrees with you and we should wait till morning.”

“Shall we do that then? We need to find a place safe from wild animals.”

“Anywhere is fine,” Atsuya said giving in; it was technically two versus one. “I fight with Yama Oyaji all the time in Hokkaido. I can defeat any bears or other wild animals if they show up. Or did you forget who's called the ‘ _Bear Killer_ ’?”

 

* * *

 

Haruna stared in the direction where Kidou and Fubuki had left earlier. The sun had set down in the horizon and it was getting darker by the minute, and soon they would have dinner and get ready for bed, yet there were no signs of the two since they had left. Haruna brought a hand to her chest and clenched her fist; she couldn't help but feel worried about her sibling—Kidou was after all, a magnet for getting himself in trouble.

“Haruna-chan, are you alright?” Aki approached, worried about her friend; Haruna had been there for a while now.

“Yeah, it's fine…” Haruna said without looking away from the woods.

Aki looked there as well. It had really been a while since the two boys disappeared and she was starting to get worried herself.

“I'm sure they'll be back in no time,” Aki smiled in an attempt to cheer up the other.

“Yeah, you're right,” Haruna smiled back. She wanted to believe those words, she had been repeating them to herself this whole time. “Is dinner ready yet?”

“It's almost done,” Aki nodded. “Let’s get some!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what the bear in Hokkaido is called in the English version but Yama Oyaji is the Japanese name...


	9. Inner reality

Inside their mind, there was a snowy scenery and a house. Shirou was sitting in a corner of a room of this house in this inner world; thinking, wondering about the words he wanted to say—about how much had happened that day. Fighting Aliea, getting exposed then lost—it was too much to take at once to the point it felt unreal like a dream.

He stood up from his place and began to walk in search of Atsuya, he knew that all his surroundings were a representation in his mind—an odd and comfy place where he could talk to and see Atsuya, where they could share time together if they focused on what was going inside.

But at the same time it wasn't the real world and the weight of this fact was often stronger. They might be together now and able to interact, this was a fact but it only happened due to their disorder; that didn't make any of it any less real, but it was hard to put into words how their reality differed from everyone around them and how they were perceived; how it felt like living in a different world from everyone else.

“Atsuya, can we talk?” he called the other.

 

* * *

 

The night had fallen and Kidou and Atsuya were taking turns to rest over the night. It was truly a peaceful moment after all of the day's events, so much that it didn't work along with the way Atsuya felt—with the uncertainness of what was ahead of them and his desire to be stronger and perfect enough to overcome any difficult situations successfully; just the way it had to be.

Atsuya heard Shirou's voice calling out to him; he closed his eyes to focus on what was going on inside—it was easier that way.

“What is it, Shirou?” he inquired.

“... A lot has happened today…” Shirou said.

“Yeah,” Atsuya admitted. He knew what it meant. He knew how difficult their situation was to deal with, even more if it involved others knowing about it.

“I've been thinking,” Shirou continued, “but I don't know what to think. Say, Atsuya, what should we do? It isn't the same than with Hakuren; we told them ourselves that time but today everyone heard it from our Coach, not us. It doesn't _feel_ right.”

“I know what you're thinking, we had this conversation before. Other people most likely won't understand so telling everyone isn't a good idea, _yet_ Coach Hitomiko didn't give a shit about that. She must think this is a joke, that it doesn't matter if others know. She gets _nothing_.”

“Maybe she thought that telling would help us instead of keeping it a secret? That it would give us support?”

“By doing so _without_ our consent? That's bullshit and you know it!” Atsuya protested. “If we wanted to tell everyone, we could have done that ourselves!”

“I don't know, Atsuya. I'm trying to understand _why_ she did that. Also why she _knew_ about us.”

“Hm, someone in Hokkaido opened their mouth and spoke too much. It isn't as if no one else knows.”

“What should we do from now on, though?” Shirou inquired again.

“What will _you_ do?” Atsuya replied.

“Hmm… Probably nothing. Bringing this up is a bit more than awkward right now. And it was already hard enough to tell Endou-kun about us, I don't think telling everyone which one of us is around is good right now... It was probably hard with Kidou-kun too, no?”

“Kidou is fine. Didn't you hear him earlier?" Atsuya asked; Kidou had sure helped a lot. "But I guess this means we continue the same, so unless we want to or someone brings it up, we don't talk about it, right?”

“I think so…” Shirou agreed. It was probably the best for now, until they could figure out if they'd be comfortable talking about themselves to everyone. “What did Kidou-kun say? I'm sorry but I can't remember what happened after Coach’s words...” he admitted.

“You wanted to talk to him, didn't you? Why don't you ask him yourself?” Atsuya suggested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding a clarification to this chapter, the beginning is a representation of what's called "internal world" to make it short an inner place inside the mind which often helps as a method of interaction between alters. In the anime we do not see any of this, but in the game there are a couple of scenes in which Shirou and Atsuya talk to each other inside their mind although the backgrounds there are all white and nothing else so I wanted to expand a bit more on it...


	10. Late-night talk

Sounds echoed in the distance, the same way they do while waking up from a dream; indistinguishable but slowly louder and clearer.

“Atsuya,” Kidou called. “Did you fall asleep?”

Shirou opened his eyes, blinking while trying to sense his body and the world around him. He raised his head and turned at Kidou then shook his head in denial, “no. Sorry. I just wasn't paying attention.”

Kidou nodded, “it is alright. I'll stay up, you can go to sleep.”

Sleep… Shirou probably needed that but more importantly this was a chance to talk to the other.

“Uhm, Kidou-kun…”

“Yes?” Kidou tilted his head.

Shirou looked away from a moment, grabbing on his scarf as he always did whenever he was anxious, hoping that Atsuya would give him the strength.

“I was thinking that I wanted to talk to you… about everything that happened, about Atsuya… There's a lot I don't know myself…” he admitted.

“I see. I understand,” Kidou said; if Shirou wanted to talk about this sort of thing then he would listen, they were basically adopted siblings at this point and he probably needed to hear from Shirou more than he did. “I can't say I know how it feels but I understand your situation from what Atsuya has told me. It isn't completely foreign to me. Go ahead, I'll listen.”

Shirou nodded. What was he exactly supposed to say? There was simply so much going on and he wasn't aware of the details, he only knew the big picture.

“What did Atsuya tell you? How much do you know…?” Shirou began; he had a lot of questions in mind. “And… what happened after coach's words? I can't remember any of that…”

“What Atsuya said and how much I know?” Kidou repeated to himself, crossing arms and thinking as he tried to recall. “I know you two share a body but aren't the same person. That when you were younger, Atsuya was your little brother who died in an accident, and then one day he found himself inside your mind. He realized this and reached out to you, and ever since you both take turns to manage everyday life. That he sometimes take control during classes and he later laughs at you when you get back a test you didn't remember taking. I know about how Hakuren's team knows about all of this and treats you both as individuals. I know that for most people it's impossible to tell what's happening, that they simply don't. That for that same reason telling others can be unsafe; if they don't understand, they could think you're delusional and that would put you in danger… That's why I told everyone not to look at you differently, that you both are our friends and part of the team. That they're only gaining a friend by finding out and that's the only difference,” Kidou stopped and turned at Shirou. “Fubuki, rest assured. I might not understand everything in detail and the team might have a hard time at first as I did, but I can see it a little better now and I'll help with what I can… Atsuya is my bro, so you and me are basically siblings, you can count on me.”

Shirou looked away, hiding his face behind his scarf and bangs. To think that Atsuya would open up like that to someone… and that Kidou listened to it all and seemed to be doing his best to be respectful and understanding. He never dreamed that anyone outside of Hakuren's team would try so hard to support them. It was hard to believe but he could see now why Atsuya would call Kidou his 'bro’.

“Kidou-kun…” Shirou said slowly turning back. “Thank you… I didn't know that Atsuya would be willing to talk about these things to someone else. I find it hard to do it myself… You said so, it can be unsafe. It's been bad a couple of times in the past and we've learned to hide it…”

“You can be just yourself. I believe that's the most important,” Kidou said then signed with a smile. “But I understand where that comes from. Even I didn't understand it at all at first. I believed that it wasn't a lie, there was no reason to make it up, but even so I asked myself 'is this really possible’? 'is having a split personality something that happens in real life’? But the more I observed, the more I interacted, the more I learned, the more evident it became to me that it had to be real from the very start and that it was happening right before my eyes. I stopped questioning it and accepted that this is part of my friend's life and want to support my friends not matter what. That includes you.”

“Even if Atsuya is actually the friend…?” Shirou asked. He didn't know Kidou as well as Atsuya seemed to.

“Atsuya might be one of my best friends but that doesn't mean you can't become one as well,” Kidou said. “Besides, I've been thinking that I should probably try to get to know you better. You're part of the team and Atsuya's sibling, it wouldn't be fair to leave you out of things.”

He was wanted as Shirou? Kidou didn't seem just to care about Atsuya but was willing to get to know him as Shirou as well? Until then he had thought that the whole team only wanted Atsuya around, after all it's Atsuya who is the striker that Raimon needed, the person they traveled all the way to Hokkaido to recruit for the team… but maybe, even if he was no more than a defender, even if he didn't have the skills that were needed, he could still be part of the team, help the team… as himself, as Fubuki Shirou who has DID. He wanted to believe that it was possible…

“You know I'm just a defender, right…? I don't know how much I can do since the team needs Atsuya's forward skills but— I want to help the team as well! Together with Atsuya and everyone else. I want to help defending Earth from Aliea Gakuen!” Shirou admitted. It's been bothering him for a while; he felt useless as if he didn’t truly belong in the team, someone who was only there because he had no choice, because he shared a body with the person that was needed… but he still wanted to feel that he can also part of it all just as Kidou said that he was…

“You're talking now,” Kidou said; it seemed to him that Shirou was finally opening up and his guess was right—it wasn't fair to leave him out of the games just because the team needed Atsuya's skills. “Let's think of a new strategy,” he suggested. “One that will allow both of you to use your skills to the fullest.”

“I'd like that,” Shirou admitted, it sounded good. “But it'll be hard to convince Atsuya not to take over during the matches. I can't really stop him. And you've seen him earlier…”

“I know what you mean… He completely ignored the strategy the moment his shoots didn't go through,” Kidou brought a hand to his chin. He knew Atsuya was sometimes hard to deal with, especially during the matches. “I'll try talking to him if you don't mind. We've convinced him not to walk around in the dark, it might not be impossible to convince him of this too.”

“It's fine. I'll talk to him too but I'm still not sure if it'll work.”

“Let's create the strategy and show it to him, it might be easier that way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we have a new chapter. I hope those following this story are enjoying it. I'm taking off the 'part' part of the chapters' titles since it's mostly a reference to myself while writing than it being relevant to the story in itself.


	11. Waiting

As night fell and bedtime arrived, the boys stayed at the caravan and the girls went to sleep in their tent.

Night. Silent night. Haruna felt unable to fall asleep even after saying goodnight to everyone. It wasn’t just the fact Kidou hadn’t returned yet but the fear of separation that crawled inside of her. If Kidou would have gone anywhere else, she would have known that he was going to be fine, but knowing that her brother was lost made her feel uncertain of the future. It made her feel the same way as she felt when she was little and they lost their family and went to the orphanage knowing their parents would never come back, that they were alone and furthermore that they could be separated and adopted by different families—as it happened. And as much as he loved the Otonashi family, for a long time she wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to see her brother again; and right now that feeling started to become strong once more.

She knew it was fine. It _had_ to be fine. Kidou would be back in the morning and nothing would have changed. They wouldn’t be separated again and she wouldn’t lost him. No, it was fine.

Haruna slipped out of the tent trying not to make a sound, she didn’t want to wake up anyone. She looked around, noticing how the moon barely illuminated the field and the top of the nearby trees; it was hard to see anything beyond that. She knew this had to be the reason—walking in the dark wasn’t a smart idea, yet it was hard to push away her worries no matter how many logical explanations she gave to herself.

She closed her eyes, feeling the fresh air of the night and sighed to herself. She would take a moment and go back to sleep, right now that was all that she could do.

 

* * *

 

Hitomiko knew it. Everything would have to be revealed sooner or later. And everything needed to work towards to her goal; she was ready to do _anything_ in order to accomplish it, even if it meant everyone else was going to hate her for it.

She knew that defeating Aliea Gakuen wasn't going to be easy but it was something that _had to happen_ no matter what. It was her duty. She had to do it, no one else could do it—to gather all of the strongest players and create the strongest team on Earth. It was the only way. If she didn't do it, she didn't want to think what sort of consequences the world would face. She _had_ to stop it. To make the team united with or against her.

Hitomiko knew that her actions were sometimes selfish, she knew that she should have handled things in a better way but it didn't happen and she would have to face the consequences. But so long as she could put an end to this madness then it would be fine…

 _Just wait for a little longer_ …


	12. Coming back

With the sun rising and its light unveiling the surroundings, Raimon's team gathered together to proceed in search of their teammates.

“Alright, everyone!” Endou said to catch the team's attention. “We need to find Kidou and Fubuki. They shouldn't be too far away from here.”

“What if we also get lost while looking for them?” Kabeyama said worryingly.

Megane placed a hand on his chin, “hm, that's statically possible.”

“That wouldn't be good!” Kabeyama yelped.

“We aren't going to get lost!” Endou interrupted. “And we can't leave our friends behind! We're going to find them and bring them back!”

“Might I join you in that search?”

“That voice…!” Endou quickly turned around to look at the owner, “Kidou!” he smiled in relief. “And Fubuki too! You're back!” he ran up to them, placing his hands on the other's shoulders. “Where were you? Everyone was worried!”

“I'm sorry, Endou,” Kidou began. “Our short talk took an unexpected turn of events.”

“You're back safe and sound and that's what matters!” Endou said patting his friends then turned at Shirou. “Fubuki, are you alright? Did you both make up?” he looked at Kidou as well.

“Yeah, it's fine now,” Shirou said.

“That's great, you two!” Endou nodded.

“We've been discussing a new strategy as well,” Kidou added.

“Oh! We should try it right away!” Endou turned around to face the team. “Everyone! We're going to start practice!” he stated enthusiastically.

“I think we should get breakfast first,” Kidou suggested. “We haven't had anything since yesterday.”

“Ah! That's right,” Endou nervously smiled, scratching the back of his head. “Let's get you something first!”

 

* * *

 

“Ice Ground,” Shirou stole the ball from Ichinose. He looked around, “Touko-chan!” he called, kicking the ball towards her.

“Leave it to me!” Touko replied.

Rika intercepted. “I'm sorry but I'm in the same team than Darling this time!” she said to Touko then turned at Ichinose, “Darling~!” she waved at him and passed the ball.

Shirou caught the ball, stealing it back.

“That's unfair!” Rika protested. “That was for Darling, not you!”

“Here! Pass!” Kidou called.

“Kidou-kun!” Shirou kicked the ball.

Kidou caught it and began to run towards the goal. “ _Right now, we need to find a way to balance Shirou and Atsuya's time on the field,_ ” he thought to himself. “ _But we also need to strengthen the team's individual abilities. We can't play while relying everything on Shirou and Atsuya alone._ ”

Kidou stopped before the goal and whistled, penguins emerged from the ground following the ball’s direction as it was kicked.

Touko and Atsuya ran to add impulse to the shoot by kicking the ball in unison.

“Emperor Penguin no. 2,” Kidou smiled.

Endou clenched his fist moving his arm back then quickly extending it while opening his hand, “God hand!” he stopped the ball with his hand, getting slightly pushed back by the impulse.

 _Safe_. Stopped by little.

“Good shoot!” Endou cheered—he could tell Kidou's kick had become a lot stronger than before.

“It's my turn now,” Atsuya stated. “I'm done with making us play defense and support.”

“We're trying to find a way to take advantage of both yours and Shirou's skills,” Kidou reminded him.

“I'm the ace striker of the team! We don't need to use these _useless_ strategies! We won't beat Aliea by doing this!” Atsuya protested. “We need to score! You call that a goal?” he pointed at the ball in Endou's hands.

“We need to try different approaches other than reckless playing,” Kidou argued back.

“What's wrong, you two?” Endou interrupted.

“This useless strategy won't get us anywhere! It will never be perfect!” Atsuya remarked.

“Endou,” Kidou began, crossing his arms. “I don't think Aliea Gakuen is returning here, and training everyone's individual abilities would improve the current strategies. It might be a good time to go back to the Naniwa training center.”

“Now you're talking! I can perfect my shoot on my own there!” Atsuya added.

“Hm,” Endou took a moment to think; it was true that more individual training could be helpful but they also needed more teamwork training as well, but Kidou was the genius strategist and if he thought it was a good idea then it most likely was. “If you think so, then I'm going to talk to coach Hitomiko and Furukabu,” he said. “Let's go back to Osaka.”


	13. Change of pace

The travel was long and tiring but as soon as the caravan arrived to Osaka—to the Naniwaland amusement park—everyone's energy was back.

The secret training center, the one created by Aliea Gakuen and abandoned by them; the one that originally Rika and her team found and claimed for themselves—they were back there to improve themselves with intense training.

Some members of the team would easily get distracted by the park and local attractions, only to be forced to go back into training; others would focus only on practicing, forgetting everything about the outside world.

Training was hard and time consuming, they would run and pass and shoot and intercept by themselves while using the facilities’ strange mechanisms or by working in teams. Only to repeat the same process the next day in order to toughen up themselves as fast as possible.

The night of the second day fell, Endou stood behind the handrail of the second floor observing his team hard work while taking a short break for himself.

“Everyone is trying their best,” he said proudly.

“I thought a change of pace would be good,” Kidou interrupted, approaching.

Endou turned around to look at him.

“The team has been more tense after what happened with Fubuki,” Kidou continued.

Endou turned back, looking at the team, he could see Fubuki practicing on his own. “It must be hard,” he said, “what he goes through. I heard it from Fubuki, y'know, before than from coach Hitomiko. He is troubled about it. He was even afraid of talking. All I could do was listen…”

“It's a complicated situation,” Kidou stated, getting closer to the handrail to watch the team practicing as well. “The condition is caused by severe trauma—it requires years of therapy to reduce related issues. But from what I can see, it's more about the fear of being misunderstood, ending up all alone and being unable to do anything to help others what Fubuki personally struggles with the most. When I talked to him I could confirm it, he wants to be part of the team and play in the field with everyone but he thinks we only need Atsuya's forward skills; and it's true that we recruited him because we needed a striker, but when we started to plan a strategy that allows his defensive skills to be in use, he seemed cheer up a bit. The problem is that Atsuya doesn't agree with the idea. It’s hard to make things work with him...”

“Hmm, I see,” Endou made a pause, thinking and processing the information. “We were really putting him in that sort of situation…”

“Both of them didn't seem to want to talk about it to be fair,” Kidou admitted. “They probably decided it was the best given the situation—in order to defeat Aliea Gakuen. That's why I want to focus on improving everyone's plays, so we don't have to make them feel that that's the only way they can play in the team; so we won't make the team depend solely on Atsuya.”

“You've been thinking about this a lot…” Endou commented, so much was going on and yet... “I couldn’t see what was happening at all... I'm sorry it took me a while to catch up.”

“It isn't your fault. I kept you in the dark as well but I didn't find it appropriate to speak about personal matters without their consent.”

“No, it's fine. Thank you for taking care of them,” Endou said. “Y'know, Kidou, Atsuya told me to stay by Fubuki's side. At first I thought he meant to support him in case things get out of hand after hearing coach's words, but now I see… it must mean to help him not feeling alone.”

“It's likely. After all, all we can do is to support them. And I'm sure if it's you, then it's possible to help them even if they refuse. Look at me, do you remember: ‘I have no intention of becoming friends’? And look at us now, you're one of my best friends.”

“You aren't the only one, Gouenji didn't want to have anything to do with the club at first too,” Endou smiled.

“Bonds can change people, and having the support of friends and supporting them in return can help oneself through dark times… that’s what I learned from you. That it’s easier to deal with one’s problems if you have people by your side who will watch your back,” Kidou admitted; he was grateful to have met Endou and the others, that he was able to break free from Kageyama’s orders, even when he still felt tied to his past so very often, even when Kageyama’s shadow still haunted him—he knew that it was easier to deal with it now because he had his friends by his side…

“You're making it sound as if I have some sort of special power,” Endou commented, bringing a finger to his face and scratching his cheek—c'mon, he was just a normal guy. “But I get what you mean, everyone in the team has helped me to realize a lot of things. I'm glad we've come this far, and we only could do it because we were together; even those who couldn't join us in this trip and those who had to leave early, I'm sure everyone feels the same—‘ _I'm glad we met’_!” Endou grinned ear to ear; soccer has brought up so many friends and he hoped they would meet even more. “Y'know, I've been thinking this whole time, it would be nice if we could make Aliea understand how fun soccer can be—I know our priority is to stop them but I think… wouldn't it be great if we could become friends in the end? If they could see the fun part of soccer instead? If bonds can change others… I wonder if that also applies to them. If we can change Aliea and make soccer become a bond between aliens and Earth.”

Kidou stared at him; becoming friends with Aliea? That's something that never crossed his mind… but it was so typical of Endou to suggest something like that. “Well, I suppose it's a possibility… if they do indeed change.”

“I know they've done a lot wrong and I can't forgive them so easily myself for destroying schools and using soccer to do bad things. But I just think, the way Hiroto plays… it doesn't feel like it doesn't have any love for soccer… Maybe they do love soccer but they have no choice but to attack us…” Endou trailed off making a pause then turned back at Kidou. “I'm sorry about that. There's just so much we don't know, I've been trying to figure it out.”

“The way things are right now, I can't forgive them either, but if things become differently in the end then we'll adapt to that situation,” or so he hoped. It would be good if this situation never repeated again. “I still think that right now, we should only focus on stopping them. We might find the rest about their intentions along the way.”

“Yeah, that's right,” Endou nodded, thinking too much about it won't change the situation, they had to act themselves to do it. “Alright! Let's go back to training a bit more before dinner! Everyone is doing their best, I can't stay still and just watch, let's join them!”


	14. Past

“ _If you're going to stay awake then stop wasting time and let's go back to training!_ ”

Shirou sighed softly to himself, ignoring Atsuya's words. He got out of his bed, trying to avoid waking up anyone else and got off of the caravan. He looked at the sky, at the stars and climbed to the roof of the vehicle; he laid down there hoping a change of air would help him to feel better and allow his body to finally fall asleep.

“ _Oi, Shirou. We can’t be wasting time. Aliea could show up at any time! You know that, don’t you? I have to level up and perfect my Eternal Blizzard!_ ”

“Hmm, we need to get some rest as well,” Shirou said out loud in response. “Without resting, our body won’t resist.”

“ _Who cares about resting? We can rest once we’re done with them!_ ”

“Atsuya, please be reasonable,” he insisted.

“ _You’re the one who’s being stubborn. Let me take over! We’re here to train anyway!_ ”

Shirou sighed louder this time and turned around to his side—it wasn’t as if doing that would change anything but he could feel his headache becoming stronger by the minute as a consequence of their disagreement, and that alone was tiring enough that he didn’t want to deal with anything else at the moment.

It was hard to deal with Atsuya when he got an idea stuck in his mind and refused to listen to others; Shirou knew that a bit too well, but he still hoped that Atsuya would understand that the body being in pain wasn’t a good sign. But it is Atsuya we’re talking about, the same Atsuya who will sacrifice sleep and skip meals just for the sake of practice… for the sake of being closer to becoming perfect at the task at hand.

Shirou closed his eyes, his headache was so strong that even thinking felt painful. He needed to clear his mind and fall asleep, just forget, and maybe in the morning he would feel better...

Forget. So often he wanted just to forget, even if only for a moment, everything that happened in his life; to be able to have a restful night without hearing Atsuya’s complains and without nightmares or flashbacks, to forget and feel that it was okay, that he was okay and nothing bad would happen ever again…even when he knew that his own guilt would never allow him to do that. No, he _needed_ to remember… of how helpless he was back then, and how far he is still from becoming strong like his mother wanted them to be. He couldn’t help but feel that if she saw him right now, she would be disappointed. He wasn’t strong enough, not yet. And maybe Atsuya was right and they had to train even more in order to become stronger… _perfect_ , even if it meant to exert themselves to the limit. They could do it if they were together… They could overcome anything, do anything, and never be powerless ever again.

Shirou let his tiredness take over him, feeling as his own consciousness was slowly fading ready to enter the sleep realm.

……….

…..

.

_no! I can’t lose Atsuya again—!_

.

…..

……….

Shirou opened his eyes, wiping away the tears as he tried to calm himself down from his heavy breathing; crying wouldn’t help to his headache and he didn’t want anyone to find out later that he had been crying either.

_Why? Why would his brain bring that back now?_

“Atsuya…” he let out in a whisper, clinging to his scarf. He needed Atsuya more than anything right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write. It took multiple attempts to figure out the way I wanted to do it. There are many things I want to tell in this story but I want to find the right timing for each of them.  
> I'm thinking about possibly adding an extra short arc soon for the sake of character development; and hopefully to actually explain what the end here actually means...


	15. Back on track

Daytime again. Everyone gathered around the caravan after breakfast as Hitomiko had instructed Haruna to tell them earlier. The tense air could be felt again. Hitomiko looked as serious as per usual, it was hard to guess what she was thinking or feeling, or what she would do or say next; her behaviour was puzzling for everyone, even for those who wanted to trust her as their coach or had conflicting thoughts about the matter.

She checked to see if everyone in the team was present, “I’ve got a message from the chairman,” she announced, “Aliea Gakuen has been spotted again in Hokkaido.”

“... in Hokkaido?” Endou repeated. Aliea had already been there, and they were in the other side of the country right now; that would be another days-long trip but more importantly, that was where Fubuki was from.

Endou turned to look at this friend.

Shirou blinked, speechless. He felt a mix between worry about the possibility of his prefecture and team being targeted again; and anger—Atsuya’s anger—for the very same reasons. Both of them didn’t want Aliea anywhere close to Hokkaido ever again.

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Kidou reassured.

“Yeah…” Shirou nodded in automatic response, hoping that everything would be fine by the time they get there.

 

* * *

 

Traveling from Osaka to Hokkaido was a long and painful trip. Perhaps, in a different context, traveling for two or three days wouldn’t be such a big deal, but knowing that Aliea was out there and that anything could be happening in the time they were traveling made the trip feel longer than it was. And perhaps—or to be honest, almost certainly—everyone's mood could have improved by the time of the arrival if they hadn't been greeted by yet another school destroyed at the indicated location, and the story about how the school's newly formed soccer team fought them inspired by Raimon's courage only to be severely injured in a matter of seconds...

“... Is this serious?” Domon said to himself in disbelief.

“We were too late…” Ichinose grumbled, clenching his fists.

After how hard they tried to fight Aliea every time, this happened again? Just because they didn't arrive earlier?

Endou took a deep breath, trying to calm down his own anger. He took it upon himself to be the one supporting the team. “We will find Aliea Gakuen and defeat them for sure! No matter what!” he affirmed.

The team remained in silence as opposed to their usual response in agreement. Everyone shared the feeling of wanting to stop Aliea but the feeling that it might as well be impossible in the end kept creeping inside their hearts.

“Everyone…” Endou mumbled; he understood the way they felt.

“Endou,” Kidou called; and Endou turned at him. “Aliea Gakuen had already left this place, they won't return to a destroyed school,” he hated to admit it but it was true and staying there wouldn't make Aliea appear again for a rematch nor would change what happened.

“I know but it's frustrating. And I know everyone feels the same— _if only we would've arrived earlier_ …” Endou said.

“Yeah. I, too, feel the same way,” Kidou agreed, they all shared the same feeling. “But I believe there’s another place we should check right now…”

It took Endou moment to realize it, even though it was in this thoughts during the entire trip, seeing this scene made him forget about it for a moment.

He turned to look at Fubuki's direction. “You're right,” they needed to check Fubuki’s place as well to be sure nothing happened there.

Shirou stared at the ruins in silence—it was all that remained from the school. It was terrible and the worst timing for Aliea to show up in Hokkaido; right now when their Eternal Blizzard couldn't break through Desarm's defense. If they showed up again at Hakuren, would they be able to stop them this time? He wanted to protect his team and school no matter what. No, even if the worst happened, they would _have to_ stop them. There is no other choice. _They will protect them_ , he decided.

Atsuya, for his part, yelled in frustration inside, lost in his own train of thought. Was everything until now worth nothing? They came all this way just to have another school destroyed? He had to stop Desarm _right now_. Defeat him and Aliea. He couldn't allow this to continue happening, much less so close to their home. It was infuriating. He wanted this battle to be over already. Once and for all. And he was the one who had to put an end to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again. I felt the story was straying away a bit in the last couple of chapters since I hadn't decided exactly how to proceed next (I do have the main story outlined but I was missing the in-between) so I've been working on that and also I made a list of the characters that are currently in the team (going by the anime but not exactly in the same way). Also I have accidentally skipped most character introductions. It was completely by accident and I didn't mean to do it! I didn't plan this story to be this long from the start so it started somewhere in the middle of the season with a few changes.
> 
> The current team includes (if I'm not forgetting anyone): Endou, Kidou, Fubuki, Ichinose, Touko, Rika, Kabeyama, Tsunami, Domon, Megane, Kogure, Tachimukai. That's twelve in total (or thirteen if we're counting Shirou and Atsuya separately but you all hopefully know what I mean).
> 
> What we have in this chapter and the following ones is what I call the "Hakuren arc". I've been debating whenever to include it into this story or write it on its own, originally I had a different idea for it so it was going to be a complete different story from this, but I've decided to include the parts of it that I believe will work better here. I love the original Hakuren so I'm hoping to be able to write them in a way that's enjoyable for others as well.


	16. Snow falls

The distinguishable blue caravan moved in direction to Hakuren's school grounds. Its pace slow due to the snow made the travel longer than the actual distance.

Atsuya felt a bit of relief after seeing the school building still standing in all its glory. Hakuren was safe for now; and that was good to know, after all nothing would be as terrible as if it had been destroyed meanwhile him and Shirou weren't around to help. That didn't mean that they didn't trust Hakuren's team, but the team  _ needed _ them and without them they wouldn't stand a chance as much as he hated to admit it—fighting Aliea was already a whole challenge when they were with Raimon and that was supposed to be the strongest team on Earth.

“It seems they're fine,” Kidou commented, arms crossed and eyes focused on the building outside. He was sitting next to the other this time.

“Yeah,” Atsuya agreed, not wanting to look away from the window as the caravan kept moving towards Hakuren. He wasn't sure how to feel, he only knew that his anxiety started to fade away knowing his school was safe. “Shirou is relieved,” he admitted, mumbling the words and refusing to admit that he shared the feeling this time.

Kidou smiled to himself—it was also a relief for him. He didn’t know what he would do if something actually happened to Hakuren's school, or how Atsuya would react to it, only that he would have to help him to calm down and that would be a hard task. “You'll see them soon—both of you,” Kidou said, “I'm sure your team will be happy to see you’re back.”

“They better be!” Atsuya said half joking. “Knowing the guys at Hakuren, they might try to throw a party. And they won't be satisfied until they know Shirou is part of it as well! So they will keep it going until then!”

“They could throw a second one for him if you don't switch,” Kidou laughed.

“Don't you dare to mention that to them because they will. They fucking will.”

“The way you talk about them makes me want to know Hakuren’s team better,” Kidou commented. Thinking about it, he knew more about Hakuren’s team from the stories that Atsuya told him than from the time he met them personally. But to be fair, the time they spent at Hakuren while recruiting Fubuki was too short to actually get to know the team, and back then no one—including himself—knew about Atsuya so there was no way they would know the side of Hakuren that kept the secret and was openly supportive of all its members.

“They're great, I’ve told you before! It's fine, you'll get to know them this time!” Atsuya stated proudly. His team, his and Shirou's team… going back to Hakuren was like going back home to the people who meant the most to them, to this comfy found family that was always there for them. “And I also have to introduce them to my new bro!”

 

* * *

 

Yukino lifted his head from his notebook after finishing writing down another his observations on snowflakes and, in the distance, he spotted Raimon’s blue caravan approaching Hakuren’s grounds. He quickly closed his book, saving it in his pocket and ran to the soccer's club room.

“Everyone!” he called to those who were present; their practice wasn't going to start until later.

“Uh? What's wrong, Yukino?” Oshiya asked, it was rare to see the other so agitated.

“It's outside! They're coming!” Yukino managed to say.

“What?! It can't be them?!” Retsuto blurted out. The worst that could happen right now would be Aliea showing up!

Kitami stepped in, placing a hand on Retsuto’s shoulder and stopping him from saying yet another word. “What's outside?” he asked in his usual calm and quiet tone.

“The caravan!” Yukino finally said in excitement, pulling a weak but genuine smiled that mixed with his current serious expression. “Raimon's caravan! Captain and Atsuya are back!”

Retsuto let out a sigh in relief. And it would be fair to say that the whole team shared the feeling. The room's mood suddenly improved.

“They're here!” Araya exclaimed as loud as she could—it was hard to believe they would be back so soon. “Let's find the others! We need to tell them too!” she added.

“Yeah, let's find them and meet outside,” Kitami nodded.

And soon Hakuren’s team scattered in search of their other members leaving the club’s room empty to meet again at the school gate.


	17. Reunion at home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's... Hakuren shenanigans time...

“ _We’re almost there_ ,” Shirou commented as the caravan went through Hakuren’s gate.

“Yeah,” Atsuya mumbled in return. He was still in control and could feel Shirou close, so close that it felt almost as if the other was standing a step behind him, so close that it made him feel light-headed and his vision fuzzy, making it all feel like a dream-like state. He knew that in that state, Shirou could take over at any time even if neither would intentionally try to switch.

The caravan stopped and Furukabu turned around, “we are here,” he announced.

The sound of seat-belts being undone and the noise of the team getting ready to get down followed.

“ _I can't wait to see everyone_ ,” Shirou said to himself.

“Are you ready?” Kidou asked.

Atsuya focused his attention to his surroundings, “who do you think you're talking to? Of course I'm ready!” he laughed it off, while ignoring how unreal the whole situation felt to him.

Outside the caravan was Hakuren's team waiting for their friends to show up.

“They're here!” Araya said the moment the caravan’s door opened.

Atsuya exited the vehicle first—this was his place and Raimon agreed that he should go first.

“Fubuki-kun!” Matoro jumped to greet him with a hug; Araya followed then Yukino and Iya.

“Captain! I saw the caravan coming this way. I'm glad you're back!” Yukino said.

The rest of Hakuren's team approached in a circle.

“Welcome back,” greeted Kitami.

“It seems you've a good team waiting for you at home,” Kidou commented.

“They're being over dramatic! We haven't been away for that long!” Atsuya exclaimed. “Hey, I'm also glad to see you all but step back!”

“We can't let you go right now, you won't accept another hug,” Matoro said.

“Captain—” Oshiya called, “it's good to see you again.”

“Agh! That's enough!” Atsuya protested, freeing himself from the group hug. “Listen you all, these guys _know now_ ,” he said pointing at Kidou and Endou whom had as well exited the caravan. “You don't have to call me Captain around them! Just say Atsuya!” he sighed.

“Did you tell them?” Mabuka asked, somewhat skeptic. That isn’t how it usually went.

“It's a long story,” Atsuya admitted. “I'll tell you all later.”

“Then…” Sorano began, exchanging glances with the team; they all nodded in return. “Now…”

“Welcome back, Atsuya!” Hakuren's team said in unison.

“Eh? What… what's this?” Atsuya blinked in surprise.

“You know how we always keep this a secret but we're equally glad to see you as much as Fubuki,” Kitami explained.

“How has Fubuki-kun been?” Araya asked, tugging Atsuya’s arm to get his attention.

“Hey, you aren't causing him trouble, are you?” Mabuka interrupted in a serious tone.

“Huh? What does that mean?” Atsuya squinted at him. A snowball hit the back of Atsuya’s head, he turned around spotting Retsuto, “what the hell was that for?!”

“Welcome back!” Retsuto grinned.

Atsuya crouched down to grab some snow to form a snowball.

“Atsuya,” Sorano called, “if you're going to be around Hokkaido, why don't you stay here for a while?”

“I don't know about that, we've to defeat Aliea Gakuen. As soon as we hear from them, we’ll head off. The last I want is for them to be around here any longer.”

“So it is about Aliea after all. You've probably heard about it already...” Kitami said.

“I know. We came from Sekkei Gakuen. That's why we have to defeat Aliea as soon as possible,” Atsuya said, getting up after finishing the snowball. “Oi! Retsuto!” He called, throwing the snowball and hitting the other in the face with it then laughing.

"We should invite Raimon inside in the meanwhile, it's too cold here," Kitami added.

"Before that—" Oshiya rushed to say, "why don't we have a welcome back match?"

"Oh? That sounds interesting," Atsuya said, then he turned at Endou, "oi, Captain, these guys want to have a match!"

"A match?” Endou repeated. “It’s been a while since we had friendly match. Let's do it!" Endou agreed—it could be good for Fubuki and the team to have a fun match once in a while.

"About this match…” Iya began, “you should play with Raimon, we want to show you and Captain our progress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up the name Sekkei Gakuen (forgive me if it exists elsewhere). It's written with the kanjis 雪渓 meaning "snowy valley".


	18. Here again

"Bro, we should go with the new strategy for this match," Kidou stated.

"Huh? That again?" Atsuya complained to himself.

“ _I think it might be good, actually…_ ” Shirou commented.

"Fine…" Atsuya mumbled. They weren't fighting Aliea this time so they could try that, besides, it reminded him of the strategy they usually used at Hakuren; and who'd be better to show it to than to Hakuren’s team itself?

"I'm sure they'll be happy to see Shirou as well," Kidou added.

"Yeah, yeah. I know," Atsuya replied then he turned to speaking inside, “ _Shirou, you heard it. It's your turn_.”

Staring almost mindlessly for a moment then blinking, Shirou took a breath as he tried to feel the body and regain his senses. He could feel the dizziness he had a moment ago fading away as soon as Atsuya stepped back inside to let him in control; and the world around him becoming more clear and real.

"Let's do it," Shirou said back at Kidou, walking to his position as a defender.

“ _We can play like this this time…_ ” Atsuya said.

“ _Yes… Thank you, I would like that,_ ” Shirou replied.

"He is playing as a defender…?" Mabuka let out.

"It's like the strategy we use," Sorano commented.

"Fubuki-kun…?" Matoro said to herself.

"Captain is back!" Yukino added. "Captain!" he called.

Shirou waved at Hakuren's team, putting on a smile. He was glad to see them but being exposed like that made him awfully uncomfortable. He didn't understand why Atsuya told them that this was okay now. Didn’t they decide to keep quiet? He knew it would probably be no harm but… he couldn’t help but feel that it was wrong to be open about themselves again... at least outside of Hakuren.

Kidou noticed how Shirou's body was slightly shaking. “ _This might be too hard on him,_ ” he thought to himself. “ _Atsuya, I want to trust you and Shirou’s choices. But if what Atsuya said is true, then there must be another reason why Shirou refuses to say anything aside from fearing being misunderstood. Was this really the best choice? Even Hakuren’s team seemed to be ready to keep it a secret from us. I guess we can only trust them for now...”_

"Everyone!" Shirou called back to his team; his voice sounded normal despite all. "You're about to face the Raimon that's fighting against Aliea. It'll be a tough fight but let's have fun!"

"Yeah!" Hakuren's team agreed in unison. Seeing their captain and hearing his encouraging words cheered up the mood for them even more.

"You're sounding like a captain now," Tsunami commented.

"Hm, I guess I can't help it when I'm around them," Shirou admitted, laughing shyly and scratching the back of his head. “I _am_ the captain of Hakuren after all…”

Endou nodded to himself, he was a captain as well and he wanted to motivate his team too.

"Alright, everyone!” Endou said, clapping his hands to get the team’s attention. “This is our second match against Hakuren’s team, let's do our best!"

 

* * *

 

“ _Does that still bother you?_ ” Atsuya inquired, “ _it isn’t like_ that _time, y’know?_ ”

“ _I just don’t understand it…_ ” Shirou replied in their mind. “ _Why are you telling them now? I thought we weren’t going to do that…_ ”

“ _They know it already, so we might as well try. We have the guys at Hakuren and Kidou and Endou… I’m sure they won’t let_ that _happen again…_ ”

“ _Atsuya…_ ” it was all Shirou could say back as he noticed the other’s voice becoming more serious than usual.

“ _If we have them on our side then it’ll be different…_ ”

Shirou only looked down; he didn’t want to think about _that_ time…

“ _I know what you’re thinking,_ ” Atsuya added. “ _It’s our coach, right? She knew from the start and she did nothing but that could change after the battle with Aliea is over. Is that it?_ ”

Shirou remained in silence. _Perhaps_ …

" _That's why it's better if they get it now… Our team can teach them one or two things as well._ "

"I just hope it turns out well…" Shirou mumbled as the whistle indicated the beginning of the match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I never know what name to use for the chapters but I'll keep adding them.  
> Also I'm sorry if Atsuya sounds confusing at times, I promise it makes sense... there's a logic behind it.  
> This chapter is also begins things for something I want to write about later. I do that a lot...


	19. Secret

The match versus Hakuren began and unlike the first match between both teams, this time Hakuren managed to play on a closer level; but even then, Shirou would still steal the ball from them with no problem and by the end, when Atsuya show up, he would score against them enough times that he had to remind them that the team still had a long way to go if they wanted to be at his level. But all in all both Shirou and Atsuya shared the feeling of being proud of the team and how much they've improved. Hakuren was home and being home felt good.

"Captain!" Araya called. She gave Shirou a hug, "you should stay the night! We want to hear what's been going on! We have a lot to tell you too!"

"I'm not sure if we can... We really came to check that you were alright," Shirou admitted. "But what we do next doesn't depend on me. I can't decide for Raimon's team."

"We'll stay for now," Hitomiko stated, interrupting the conversation. It was her decisions what everyone followed.

"Isn't that great?" Araya cheered, smiled from ear to ear. Their captain was back! Finally!

"We should throw a party," Oshiya suggested and the rest of the team agreed with him.

"It seems Atsuya was right," Kidou commented with a laugh while getting closer to them.

"Hm? Right about what?" Sorano inquired, tilting his head.

"What happened?" added Retsuto.

"Um, well… He said you all would throw a party for us," Shirou forced a laugh.

"Two parties," Kidou added raising two fingers. "One for each."

"It isn't a bad idea," Iya thought out loud, bringing a hand to his chin.

"We could try that," Matoro said.

"Are we really going with that?" Mabuka added.

"Why not? It might be fun," Sorano replied.

"Everyone, it’s fine," Shirou interrupted. "We don't really need a party. But if you're still doing it, we can just share one."

Hakuren’s team kept going about the party that they were definitely going to throw now, both for Shirou and Atsuya’s return but also to welcome Raimon who has been fighting so hard to save the world from Aliea. They quickly got Raimon members involved into the conversation, trying to figure out who could help with what and hoping to get along with them in the process and make them feel welcomed as well. Shirou thought that getting a party for the whole team was a better idea than one for himself, after all he also wanted to thank Raimon for still being kind to him and not to straight up reject him after finding out about his secret.

"Fubuki, can we talk?" Kitami approached.

"Uh, sure. What is it?" Shirou blinked, turning at him.

“I think it’s better if we talk about this on private,” Kitami said, then turned at Endou who had noticed their conversation. "We're going to borrow him for a while."

"Hm? It's alright, you guys must have a lot to talk about," Endou nodded. Fubuki was the captain of Hakuren, his team probably wanted to talk about things that didn’t pertain them. "We'll help around with the party, make sure to be back for it."

"We will,” Kitami replied. Shirou only smiled to Endou in return. Kitami placed a hand on Retsuto’s shoulder, “come with us."

"Are you guys going?" Oshiya inquired, noticing them.

"Yeah, we need to talk for a bit," Kitami said with that serious tone of his that made it clear this was an important talk.

"Alright, leave Raimon and the party to us," Oshiya replied, nodding and bringing a hand to his chest.

Shirou knew that it was going to take a while before they would be back.

 

* * *

 

Kitami walked, followed by Shirou and Retsuto; they got far enough from Raimon and the team. The walk was long and mostly silent, Shirou didn’t know how far they were going to get but he knew what this talk was probably going to be about and he had been spending every second preparing for it.

He gave in, "Kitami? What's wrong?" Shirou inquired, anxiety ate him.

Kitami stopped, turning around to face him. "Tell us the truth,” he began with the most serious tone he could make, “what happened? You normally wouldn't tell about yourselves to other people."

Shirou looked away, remaining in silence. Of course they were going to ask about _that_. He knew it yet he was hoping that this conversation was actually going to be about _anything_ else… He should have remained quiet.

Retsuto quickly caught up, he wasn’t sure what Kitami wanted until now but this made it all clear. "I thought that was weird too. Why do they know?"

"We went along with it earlier because Atsuya told us to, but was this your own decision? Did you tell them yourselves?" Kitami continued—he was as perceptive as always.

"... They just know…" Shirou murmured, hiding behind his scarf. He didn’t really want to explain it.

"Was this Atsuya's doing? Is he causing you trouble again?" Retsuto inquired. “I swear if this was Atsuya’s doing—”

"No… It wasn't Atsuya… Atsuya wouldn't…" Shirou shook his head. “He wouldn’t do that… I mean, he _did_ tell someone but so did I… but he wouldn’t tell _everyone_ …”

"Did he? And then what? Did those people betray you and tell the whole team or what? What the hell happened?" Retsuto continued.

Kitami extended an arm before Retsuto and shaking his head to indicate him to stop. 

Retsuto took a deep breath. Right, he had to calm down for Shirou’s sake.

"... It's our coach…" Shirou admitted after a moment of silence. "Coach Hitomiko… she knew about it… she must have had someone checking on our past…"

"What?! The coach told them?!" Retsuto blinked, the revelation perplexed him. Why would Raimon’s coach tell them something like that? What makes someone think it’s okay to just go ahead and share someone else’s secret like it’s chitchat? Holy shit, Hakuren’s team itself always kept this hidden from everyone else to keep Shirou and Atsuya safe because they knew how much they struggled with the condition and how most people wouldn’t even believe them, and how that could put them in danger; and then fucking Raimon’s coach did this? He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “Why would her?! Doesn’t she know?!” Retsuto protested.

"That must have been a hard," Kitami said, he knew this was very hard for Shirou and he started to felt bad for forcing him to talk. His tone softened, "Fubuki, are you alright?"

"Uh… yeah. I have no choice now though," Shirou looked down, he didn't want all of Raimon to know about this but they did now and it wasn't as if he could just pretend that that conversation never happened, even if he could only vaguely remember it—everything else pointed at the fact that it did, indeed, happen. "We were going to continue hiding it at first but… Now Atsuya said that it'd be better if we can have them on our side. And that you guys could help with that…"

"I see, so that's what he's thinking," Kitami nodded.

"Isn't he overdoing it?" Retsuto said. "He understands the situation, right?"

"I think… he's just trying to help," Shirou said. "If Raimon knows, they better learn about it the good way—sort of thing..."

"Are you okay with that though?" Retsuto replied with a tone of concern.

Shirou didn't say anything. It wasn't as if he could control what Atsuya did or say anyway.

"I think it makes sense," Kitami added. "If they know, it's best if they learn how it is for you two. Leave this to us, we're going to support you as always."

"Kitami-kun…" Shirou looked at him. He took a breath and nodded, "if you're going to talk to them, talk with Kidou-kun and Endou-kun, they're the ones we think that will get it better… They’re the ones we opened up to after all..."

"Are you really ok with this?" Retsuto asked one more time.

Shirou nodded, "yeah… I trust Endou-kun and Kidou-kun is Atsuya's bro after all."

"He's what?!" Retsuto yelled.

"I know almost as much as you," Shirou admitted. “A while ago I found out they’ve somehow become best friends with each other and I can’t quite remember how or when...”

"Amnesia must have been hard on you,” Kitami said. “I guess this trip was more stressful than we thought.”

"Hm, a bit, yeah…" Shirou nodded.

"But that also means he trusts this person, yeah? That might make this easier," Kitami continued.

"Yeah, that's what I think too..." Shirou said. After his own talk with Kidou, he felt the other was someone he could trust with this too.

"Atsuya should know to tell you what happens though," Retsuto sighed. “Why does he always have to make everything more complicated?”

"Retsuto, give it a rest,” Kitami called. “Let's do what we can do to help them now. We can talk to Atsuya and complain to him later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done, we're getting closer to the next plot point. Writing so many characters at once is hard and I always feel I have to say who says what or I'm afraid it might be confusing and it's hard to do it in a way that doesn't sound too forced or repetitive. Also this story is now getting closer to points that I'm a bit anxious writing about but I'll make sure to add proper notes and hope it works out; to be honest, this story is hard to write but I'm trying to write a proper portrayal the best I can...


	20. Party

The party was lively and Hakuren's team made sure that Raimon felt at home. They set up tables and food and exchanged stories with each other; stories of Raimon’s trip, the fights against Aliea and about the team and where everyone came from, and Hakuren shared their own stories about how their team got together and their other interests. Tsunami commented on how the climate there was too cold for surfing and Iya told him about how skiing was a fun sport as well, and Araya added that running through the snow while laughing loudly was fun and that they should try it together some time soon. 

Shirou walked into this scene glad to know that both teams could get along and a lot better than the first time; perhaps it was because of what Atsuya said before that everyone assumed Raimon was full of good and trustful friends and they weren't wrong even if Shirou wasn't exactly that close with anyone and often kept walls between others and himself... but at least Atsuya learned to open up a bit and that was helping him to do it too at a much slower pace...

"Fubuki! You're back!" Endou waved at him with that smile characteristic of him.

"Yeah, what have I missed?" Shirou approached—Endou was someone he trusted even if he wasn't sure that the other could truly understand him.

"We've just started," Kidou interjected, taking a sip of juice.

"Is that so?" Shirou tilted his head. He thought they’ve been away for at least an hour.

"Fubuki-kun!" Araya called from the other side of the room. Shirou looked at her.

"You should go with them," Kidou said. "I'm sure your team has a lot that they want to share with you."

"I guess I have some stories to tell them too," Shirou admitted. "Feel at home you two," he waved at them and walked over to Araya and the others.

"They're a good team," Kidou commented once Shirou was gone.

"Yeah. I hope being here will cheer up Fubuki," Endou agreed.

"I'm hoping for the same."

"Excuse me," a voice interrupted.

"Kitami, I presume? And Retsuto," Kidou said after taking a look at them; they looked exactly as in Atsuya's descriptions.

"Yes..." Kitami muttered to himself and nodded, "we want to have a talk with you two."

"Sure, we'd love to hear more from Fubuki's buddies, right, Kidou?" Endou looked at him.

"Yeah," Kidou affirmed with a smile. He was actually curious to know them in person.

"This is going to be long…" Retsuto muttered to himself.

"You don't have to stick around, I can handle this on my own," Kitami turned at him.

"Nah," said Retsuto, gesturing with his hand. "They're my friends, I want to help as well."

It only took those words for Kidou and Endou to realize this wasn't going to be just a casual conversation as they got ready for whatever was coming next.

"Let's save the introductions," Kitami broke the silence after a moment. "We need to talk about Fubuki."

 

* * *

 

"So, what about him?" Endou said with a serious tone after they've moved to a corner of the room to have a more private conversation.

"Alright, so, why the hell did your coach tell everyone about Fubuki's situation?" Retsuto blurted out. It took Endou and Kidou aback.

Kitami placed a hand on Retsuto's shoulder. "This isn't what we're here to talk about and you know it."

"Hey! This is important as well!" Retsuto complained.

"I know that but it isn't the reason we’re having this conversation," Kitami reminded him.

"It's partially my fault," Kidou admitted with a tone of guilt. "I called Atsuya by his name in front of everyone; it was an accident and of course he was angry about it. Then our coach decided to tell everyone, I tried to stop her but..."

"Was it you?" Retsuto said in shock. Wasn't this guy Atsuya's friend?

Kidou didn't reply, if they wanted to get mad at him then he was ready to accept it. It was his mistake what exposed their friends and he understood how important it’s to keep a secret actually secret.

"No, Kidou truly tried to stop coach Hitomiko. I don't understand it myself either, why she'd do that," Endou interjected. "We want to help Fubuki and support him but no one knows how to do it… When he told me about it, I could tell how hard this is for him. He probably didn't want everyone to find out that way."

"Of course not," Retsuto let out a sigh. At least this was more a bit more clear than what Shirou told them.

"I see," Kitami interrupted. "Well… we don't know how much you know about them and it's obvious that they wouldn't want to be exposed to others. I'll tell you a short story," he said exchanging glances with Retsuto; this was going to be a hard one but Shirou was counting on them. "First of all, they always keep their condition a secret from most people for the obvious reason: most people wouldn’t believe them. We’ve known Fubuki for a while… no, we’ve known them for quite some time before they’d tell Hakuren’s team and because we know them, we now know how real it is. It took a while but we've slowly learned to notice the differences and welcome them, and to learn more about the condition itself. Eventually they started opening to the team more and now Atsuya is just another member of the team for us. We want Hakuren's soccer club to be a safe place for all of its members. It might not be to the same extent but we all have our own struggles and support each other through them."

Retsuto pointed at Shirou with his thumb. "There’s also that. You might have noticed it already, Atsuya is more full of energy and loud meanwhile Fubuki usually keeps more to himself, he isn’t exactly an introvert but he rarely allows himself to genuinely enjoy things and has a hard time opening up to others. We think it's through Atsuya that he can allow himself to laugh and have fun—to experience those things when he won’t let himself to. To be honest, they actually work pretty well together."

"About that," Kitami interrupted. "Wait, how much do you know about DID?"

"I know some of the basics that Atsuya explained to me," Kidou stated.

"Uh, well…" Endou shrugged. "I'm probably the one who knows less out of the four of us."

"Do you think we should tell them the rest? It'd be probably better if they hear it from them," Kitami turned at Retsuto.

"Are you saying to tell Atsuya?" Retsuto asked skeptically.

"No, actually telling Shirou," Kitami replied.

"Do you think Fubuki will talk? Then why are we having this conversation? I thought you said you could handle this on your own," Retsuto said then turned back at the others. "I'll say it then. Our team doesn't think that Fubuki and Atsuya's situation is exactly a bad thing, I mean, sure having a disorder sucks but we don't think that Atsuya's existence is the problem—no matter how difficult he can be to deal with sometimes. When they work together, they're actually pretty much functional and complement for each other’s weaknesses and they seem to be okay being that way. And the thing is… you can treat the symptoms and related issues and they could go for integrating their personalities but that doesn’t mean they’d stop having DID. So those two have decided that for now they want to live working together as a team instead and that’s an option too, y’know?”

“Is that so…?” Endou muttered to himself. “All this time I’ve been thinking: Fubuki is troubled by this situation. He needs to be himself—to find who he really is to stop from hurting but… I guess I didn’t think about how he actually felt. If this is the path Fubuki wants to walk then I’ll accept it. In the end, it isn’t as if I actually understand what he goes through. There is a lot about him I don’t know and probably more than I thought.”

“Well, it’s caused by severe trauma,” Retsuto added. “Of course it isn't all fun and games. There’s a lot that they’ve to deal with but Atsuya’s existence might not be the actual bad part of it.”

“I think what’s important to understand,” Kidou began, “is that Fubuki has his own way to live even if it’s different from the rest of us. And one way isn’t better than the other, it’s just a different life experience. I thought many times that if I hadn’t met Kageyama or if my parents were still alive, I’d probably be a different person than I am right now. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be wearing goggles or a cape, I’d have probably never joined Teikoku or Raimon. Of course my situation is different but life experiences shape us. I’m sure that for Fubuki and for Atsuya as well, this is just the way they experience life and it doesn’t mean that they need to become like everyone else; I think more than that, what they might need is understanding and support. People who are willing to listen and accept that our lives might be a bit different.”

“I can see now why they think of you as a friend,” Retsuto interrupted. “Man, that was deep. Do you always talk like that? Atsuya barely opens up to anyone.”

“No, not quite the case,” Kidou replied. “We usually talk about the strategies we are going to use next and, of course, penguins.”

“Penguins…” Retsuto repeated to himself.

“I’ve been trying to turn him into a penguin user but it hasn’t worked yet,” Kidou admitted. “I think that combining Eternal Blizzard with penguins can make it stronger but Atsuya seems to disagree.”

“What’s a ‘penguin user’...?” Retsuto asked. This conversation was getting weirder by the minute.

“Now, now,” Endou interrupted. “Kidou likes having penguins in his techniques. Everyone has their own style for playing soccer.”

“Endou,” Kidou turned at him. “Penguins are _essential_ in soccer. You could also benefit by adding them to your goalkeeper techniques.”

“I don’t think my grandpa’s techniques actually include penguins…” Endou smiled scratching the back of his head.

“I guess this ends the conversation,” Kitami interjected. “Why don’t we go back to the party?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long, I try to update this story regularly but real life has been taking most of my time
> 
> Also I'm anxious about this chapter but I've been nervous since chapter 1. I can't believe this is chapter 20 and I'm writing this. I said it before but I started writing this story as a joke and then I kept going and writing it for myself and to see how far I could get and hopefully adding a bit of awareness too.. Thanks for reading


End file.
